I'm back (kind of)

I've been away for awhile. I'm going to try to post more. And I don't want it to be all about my most recent not-getting-pregnant.

So. I don't have time to write a real post but I enjoyed this so much lastnight that I had to share:

Yet again. . .

Tested this morning. BFN. My period is here (started a little lastnight so I'm not surprised).

I'm so tired of this.

Numbers

QUICK update. Saturday morning I had my appt. Follicles: one 17 on the left and a 15 and 18 on the right (and other smaller ones but. . . ). E2 was 549. LH was 1.8. She had me do 300 iu Repronex Sat night, 150 iu Repronex Sunday morning (trying to give that 15 a last boost) and trigger Sunday night. We will have IUI tomorrow (Tues) morning. I questioned the E2 but who am I? Seems low to me, though.

Lots of laundry calling my name!

There We Were Waving Brenda and Eddie Goodbye

Prelude/Angry Young Man
Allentown

The Entertainer

Vienna*

Zanzibar

New York State of Mind

Miami 2017

Don't Ask Me Why

Always a Woman

Root Beer Rag

Moving Out

Innocent Man

Keeping the Faith

River of Dreams

Highway to Hell

We Didn't Start the Fire

Big Shot

It's Still Rock 'n' Roll to Me

You May Be Right

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant**

Only the Good Die Young

Piano Man

That was the set list for the concert Tuesday night. I'm still on cloud nine. I loved every minute. Seeing Billy Joel in concert was on my bucket list. While I know I can now cross it off, that does not in any way mean that I would turn down tickets to see him again at any time in the future. Ever. We had seats behind the stage and they were actually awesome. We could see just about everything. The only thing that might have been better would have been standing along the edge of the stage like so many early 20-somethings were doing. (I couldn't help but notice they didn't REALLY get fired up until he played "River of Dreams" circa 1993. You know. Songs from their childhood. Ha.) I could have stayed all night and listened to him.

The news on the cycle-front: Wednesday morning the ultrasound wand and I had a tender moment together. It revealed 6 follicles on the left and 5 on the right ovary. The largest on the left measured 13-ish. The largest on the right was 12. My e2 (cycle day 9) was an unimpressive 168. I was told to continue w/ the same dose of Repronex (300IU) each night and come back Saturday morning to see what the magic wand reveals. . . ooooo. . . the anticipation of it all!

Tomorrow (Friday) my baby turns 2. I cannot believe 2 years ago tonight was the last night I was pregnant (may have been the last time I ever will be if something doesn't work around here soon).

*Very nice to hear this one since, I've read, it isn't usually included. My friend's favorite B.J. song so she was so happy!

**My personal favorite

Dancing

A friend of mine gave me tickets to see Billy Joel in concert tomorrow night. I'm not much of a concert go-er since the early 90's. My concert repetoire includes the likes of Whitesnake, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, Bad English, & AC/DC, to name a few. My very first concert was Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. It was in a Ballroom. I'm actually proud of that one. My last was Bad Company in 1993. Anyway, I'm quite excited about Billy Joel. The best part is I'm going with 2 friends who really like his music, too.

I have to post briefly because there is a dance marathon going on in my living room right now. I turned off the TV and turned the radio on. The idea was to get me motivated to accomplish some housework (you can see how well it has worked so far) and I was listening to 'peppier' music than I normally do. I heard my 5 year old calling so I headed toward the sound of his voice. I found he and his almost 2 year old brother dancing their little toes off in the living room. N asked me, "Nice master moves, huh?" as he did a breakdance type spin on his back on the floor. I want to feel like that again--to walk into a room and find music playing so, "Hey. Think I'll dance."

Yes. Awesome moves.

Unimaginable

This family needs any help/prayers you can give. It could be any one of us at any time. Please go and read.

The Audacity of Hope

The ultrasound wand and I had our first (of this cycle) "moment" together yesterday. Nothing to report except I'm all clear to start this cycle. My RE is starting us with 4 vials (300 IU) of Repronex daily beginning tonight all the way through until next Tuesday night. I'll go in for bloodwork and u/s next Wednesday. I know that seems like a long span but if we know anything for sure about me it's that I'm quite slow to start. Doctor doesn't think I'll be 'ready' next Wednesday but we, of course, need to check. She (dr) said Wednesday, "So. . . just one more?"
"Yeah," I said, "but then--no offense--but you're never going to see me again."
Then she said, "You know you're going to end up with twins or more. . . you just make so damn many eggs."

I just smiled. What else could I say?

Part of me wishes I could get as excited and hopeful as I used to at the start of a cycle. The other part of me is perfectly fine with the self-preserving NON-excitement that I feel. Don't get me wrong. . . I want to think that this will be the cycle for us. . . that it sticks. . . that I never have to go crazy during another 2ww. . . that I never have to spend another DAMN DOLLAR on fertility medication. . . that I end up with a SWEET, chubby faced, kissable baby out of the deal. I'm not NOT hopeful. I guess I've been down this road one too many times to get too wrapped up in it all.

But I will pray. For a good cycle, for a positive test, for a long, healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. And I might hope--just a little.