Dancing

A friend of mine gave me tickets to see Billy Joel in concert tomorrow night. I'm not much of a concert go-er since the early 90's. My concert repetoire includes the likes of Whitesnake, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, Bad English, & AC/DC, to name a few. My very first concert was Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. It was in a Ballroom. I'm actually proud of that one. My last was Bad Company in 1993. Anyway, I'm quite excited about Billy Joel. The best part is I'm going with 2 friends who really like his music, too.

I have to post briefly because there is a dance marathon going on in my living room right now. I turned off the TV and turned the radio on. The idea was to get me motivated to accomplish some housework (you can see how well it has worked so far) and I was listening to 'peppier' music than I normally do. I heard my 5 year old calling so I headed toward the sound of his voice. I found he and his almost 2 year old brother dancing their little toes off in the living room. N asked me, "Nice master moves, huh?" as he did a breakdance type spin on his back on the floor. I want to feel like that again--to walk into a room and find music playing so, "Hey. Think I'll dance."

Yes. Awesome moves.

Unimaginable

This family needs any help/prayers you can give. It could be any one of us at any time. Please go and read.

The Audacity of Hope

The ultrasound wand and I had our first (of this cycle) "moment" together yesterday. Nothing to report except I'm all clear to start this cycle. My RE is starting us with 4 vials (300 IU) of Repronex daily beginning tonight all the way through until next Tuesday night. I'll go in for bloodwork and u/s next Wednesday. I know that seems like a long span but if we know anything for sure about me it's that I'm quite slow to start. Doctor doesn't think I'll be 'ready' next Wednesday but we, of course, need to check. She (dr) said Wednesday, "So. . . just one more?"
"Yeah," I said, "but then--no offense--but you're never going to see me again."
Then she said, "You know you're going to end up with twins or more. . . you just make so damn many eggs."

I just smiled. What else could I say?

Part of me wishes I could get as excited and hopeful as I used to at the start of a cycle. The other part of me is perfectly fine with the self-preserving NON-excitement that I feel. Don't get me wrong. . . I want to think that this will be the cycle for us. . . that it sticks. . . that I never have to go crazy during another 2ww. . . that I never have to spend another DAMN DOLLAR on fertility medication. . . that I end up with a SWEET, chubby faced, kissable baby out of the deal. I'm not NOT hopeful. I guess I've been down this road one too many times to get too wrapped up in it all.

But I will pray. For a good cycle, for a positive test, for a long, healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. And I might hope--just a little.

It really is

This morning N was (slowly) getting ready for preschool. My husband works a very odd shift which means he's home for the first few hours of the morning. He likes to take that time on Tuesdays and Thursdays to take N to preschool. Recently N bestowed upon D his much-loved, broken-zippered Spiderman book bag from WAY back in 3 year old preschool. Last Thursday and again today, as N was getting his coat, hat & gloves (yes--these are all required when one wakes up to SNOW on April 1st. Not laughing, Mother Nature. . . not laughing) on D went running to my husband with his coat, hat . . . and Spiderman backpack. It was so darn cute. One of those 'I want to remember this forever' moments. He so earnestly wanted to go to school, too. So my sweet husband bundled him up so he could ride along. I smiled as I watched my 3 men leave the house, 2 of them proudly sporting back packs.

Life, really, is pretty darn good.

Remember R and R?

I'm feeling good after a little overnight getaway with my husband. Thanks to a short lived coupon code on Expedia, we were able to book a suite at the Doubletree for 42.00 on a Saturday night. Not too shabby! I can't tell you how long it's been since we were together in a hotel when there wasn't a doctor's appointment bright and early the next morning. We laughed when we realized my husband would actually get to do more than dangle his feet in the hot tub. Ha!

I really think every married couple (children or not) should make that kind of time for each other once in a while. It's especially important when you are undergoing fertility treatment. It's so easy to get wrapped up in all the money, medicine and waiting that's involved with that. I'm saying this (okay, typing it) out loud because I'm a smart girl. We've been through this before and I know how important it is. And still, we were surprised at how we were almost getting to know each other all over again this weekend. We drifted a little away from each other for a moment without even realizing. Infertility (and sometimes just day to day life!) can take so much from us. Don't let it take away that special something that made you want to have a baby with that man/woman in the first place.

Make some time! You'll be so glad you did.

The post where my shoulder starts to feel better. . . and other stuff

Truly. . . not much to report. I'm feeling better. Mostly. I'll start a cycle in a couple weeks. That should be exciting.

The Easter Bunny left some cute boots for my little guy. He put them on immediately and I had to pry them off of his hot little feet tonight. They are giraffes for those of you who weren't sure. Complete with tails.

I thought maybe I'd have more to say tonight but I guess not. It's been a long day!

Thanks for stopping by! Come back again soon.

Is anyone reading this?

The post where my shoulder hurts. . .

So. One week ago today (last Monday) my husband, feeling a little burn out at work, declared that he was going to take a day of 'dependent care' (his employer allows a certain number of days for sick leave and they give a separate bank of time for the above mentioned dependent care. Kind of nice, I think. Anyway. None of us (his dependents) were requiring any kind of particular care, really, so we should have known that we were tempting fate. Has infertility taught us nothing about being careful about that???

The night before we had received an unwelcome few inches of early March snow. Add that to the couple-here-couple-there inches that had fallen at the end of February and you've got enough for a little sledding. Yes. You see where this is headed, right?

We bundled up (it was COLD) and hauled our 3 inflatable tubes and one plastic sled across the street to a large hill. My husband has taken the boys (N in particular) sledding on this hill countless times in the past few months. It's wide open space. There are a couple obstacles toward the bottom, however the sleds usually stop WAY before reaching that point. And we have N well trained to bail off if he is headed for something solid. I hadn't gone sledding as of yet this winter. Mostly because I was always being a bit of a party pooper. I would, however, enthusiastically watch from the front window while drinking a nice hot cup of chai tea. Monday was different, though. I was happy to have my hubby home for the day. . . happy to be extending our weekend together. We hauled ourselves and our sleds across the road and began to climb the hill. Great exercise!! All of us went down (N on the sled, hubby and D on a tube and me on another tube). Weeeeeee! Fun! We reached the bottom and D started fussing. A lot. He was unhappy (unusual for him--outside is his favorite place to be) and nothing we did seemed to help. Hubby decided that, since I hadn't had a chance to sled w/ N yet this winter, he would be the one to take D home--despite my insistence that I really (REALLY) didn't mind going home. I think my youngest child might have actually known something was going to go wrong. ESP, you know? Hence, the fussing.

N and I climbed the hill once more and raced down (this time we were both on tubes). Fun again. I was feeling great and thankful for a little one on one time w/ my older boy. It doesn't happen very often! At the top of the hill once again, N wanted to race and got a head start (I wasn't quite situated on my tube). I had the briefest flash of a bad feeling (nothing in particular--just a bad feeling--can't explain it) but chalked it up to my overprotective nature where it comes to my boys. Off I went down the hill.

I think I was about halfway down when I thought, "Ummmm. . . I'm going too fast."

The next thing I knew, I was lying face down in the snow. I was unsuccessfully trying to make my arms and legs work in unison to get me up out of the snow. And my head felt like it was on fire. Suddenly N was standing beside me, "Mommy! Are you okay?!!" "Get daddy." was all I could manage to mutter. Then my husband was beside me, feeling the back of my head, helping me to my feet and across the road. I kept insisting that I could just stand here and wait while he took the boys inside and then he could come back and get me. . . I wasn't making much sense.

Inside, I just wanted to lie down on the couch. My shoulder hurt like HELL, as did my head. I felt like I was thinking pretty clearly. N informed my husband that I started going backwards and "Mommy forgot to jump off like you're supposed to." Apparently what happened sometime after I told myself I was going too fast was my tube turned so I was going down the hill backwards. Still too fast. And I ran into a utility pole with the back of my head and shoulder.

A trip to the local ER revealed (after a CT scan and many xrays) a concussion. Supposedly no problem anywhere else. A hellish week went by and I visited our regular doctor (not affiliated w/ above mentioned hospital, thank goodness) Friday. She got me in to see an orthopedic dr that afternoon and he determined I have an ac separation in my shoulder. Nothing much to do but take ibuprofen, wear a sling and wait for it to feel better.

So. . . I'm waiting. Not so patiently. I'm finding how difficult day to day activities w/ small children are when one arm is quite useless and using the other arm too much makes the useless arm hurt.

I am, however, very thankful that I didn't end up with a head full of mush. That pole could have very well been the end of life as we know it. The CT scan revealed what we've known all along: I have a very thick skull. Literally. And it probably saved me.

Not the first time my thick headedness has gotten me out of a jam. But probably the first time it's truly saved my life.