Friday, November 16, 2007

One week in. . .

. . . to the 2ww. I haven't posted in a while so here's an update:

I stimmed for, I don't know, what seemed like a long time. Possibly 2 entire weeks? Anyway, my crusty ovaries took a while to get into gear. For the last week I was taking 375 IU of Repronex each night. IM. That was pleasant. As is always the case with me, I had a bunch of follicles. The more dominant ones measured 23, 19, 18 and 16 at my last ultrasound. There were some on the left and some on the right. My left ovary is kind of tucked away so I don't know how much of a chance the 'lefties' have. C's count was good at 178 million for the IUI exactly one week ago today. My estradiol was 1203 or something like that at the last check (2 days before the IUI).

So now we wait. Truthfully, I haven't found this wait to be as agonizing as I found the 2ww when we were trying last time. I think that's partly because I am busier with my 2 boys than I was with 'just' one. I think also I probably have my defenses up. I don't want to get too hopeful, you know? But mostly--and this is just our little secret--I'm not very convinced this whole thing worked this time. I just don't feel it. I suppose I have what could be considered symptoms. . . I might list them later if I post again during the 'wait'. . . but for some reason my brain just doesn't want to make the leap to thinking this could be it.

I was excited to get started, for sure. And, of course I want a baby. I'm also starting to feel like I want to be done with the whole fertility scene. I don't have very much patience for it this time. It's much more of an inconvenience than it was before--at least it feels that way. And the shots hurt more. I didn't remember them hurting before. I am anxious for all of this not to be a factor in any of our decisions. Even after we had our son, D, I knew that we were eventually going to try one more time. We moved away for a time (didn't know then it wouldn't be for long) and one of the hardest things for me was leaving the doctors I had become so comfortable with. My husband got a new job. . . infertility insurance coverage was a concern. Money is always a factor with this kind of treatment--have to make those plans. . . I could go on but you get the picture. It affects everything.

On a lighter note, it might snow here on Thanksgiving. And possible sleet the night before. I think I might enjoy that. Then we could go eat at the family gathering that's here in town and forget the rest. Really get to enjoy the day with those that can come there and then head home to snuggle down with my boys.

Now THAT would be something to be thankful for. . .

No comments: