Tuesday, January 29, 2008


As my 5yr old climbed into the car the other day after a day at the babysitter's house while I was at my appointment and then (gloriously!! alone!!) shopping, he asked, "Hey, Mommy? Do you have a baby in your tummy?" *

"No. Not yet. Hopefully sometime soon."

"Awwww, maaaan. I wanted to get a new movie van!"

Yeah. We haven't yet made the switch to a larger vehicle. We're still driving our Maxima. I love our Maxima. I don't want to give it up. But I will. For another baby. And N is anxious to get a van with a DVD player in it. He's seen it in a couple friends' cars and thinks it's just the greatest thing. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Personally, I enjoy when the kids and I are driving down the road 'dancing' to the music on the radio as we exchange looks in the rearview mirror. I'm afraid that would all go away. But it's cute that he now refers to all vehicles w/ DVD players as "movie vans".

I did ask him if that was the only reason he was hoping for another baby in Mommy's tummy and he assured me that he wanted a baby AND a movie van.


*Now while we don't fill him in on all the gory details, we do let N know that we are going to the dr. to try to get a baby in Mommy's tummy again. He doesn't worry, then, when Mommy has to go to the dr 100 times per week.

New year. . . New outlook

Boy. . . I'm not off to a very good start with this thing, eh? I have a whole bunch of posts brewing in my head but finding the time to actually get them down is a whole other thing. . .

Anyway, here's the latest:

On treatment: We are in the middle of a cycle. I go on Thursday for b/w & u/s so we'll know more then. Dr. is tentatively thinking we'll be ready to trigger either Friday or Saturday night. My estrogen levels have "never looked this good this early before" so my Dr. was encouraged by that. I was as encouraged as I would allow myself to be. It's a LONG way between here and actually getting pregnant. And actually staying pregnant--well--we'll just have to wait and see. I turned 34 last week. Isn't that when your eggs magically start to whither up or something? I just have 34 stuck in my head from some infertility book (or something) as the beginning of the end of my already-limited ability to make a baby. Tick tock.

On housing: We sold our other house!!!! Woo hoo! It was a short sale and when we signed papers we weren't sure how we were going to pay the taxes on the short sale (see previous post) but on December 23rd, the senate passed the bill we were hoping for and we won't have to pay taxes on the short sale now!!! Yippee!! It's been a while since I felt the future looking so bright. It's a good feeling! A great feeling. That was a wonderful Christmas present we received from, of all people, the U.S. government. :) Almost restores my faith in them. Almost.

On my boys: I love them. So much. Everything we've been through has been so worth it to see them grow and play everyday. It's amazing and wonderful to see that, despite the almost-4-years between them, they are so close and play so well together. They are constantly asking eachother for a hug and are VERY quick to defend eachother from any 'threat'--real or imagined. What I wanted so badly to give N--and was afraid I'd never be able to--was that type of friendship, of family. No matter what happens from here, N has D. D has N. And I get to watch.